Becoming Me...

I wonder if anyone even reads this blog anymore - after all, the writer is so very delinquent! : ) I apologize - again. I have had several comments about me not posting, but really, I've just been so busy. I am feeling very satisfied with life in general, and thus maybe I find less urgency to write in the blog.

I spent the weekend in Iowa with my family. We (Richard, Nick, and I) ditched baseball and headed north to eat, drink, and be merry! We had such an amazing time. Richard golfed for the first time in his life, I took pictures of my sister Vicki and her family, and we laughed and laughed and laughed. Richard and I also laid in the hammock and took a luxurious nap together. It was nice to get away and spend quality time together.

One of the things that came up several times this weekend was the subject of marriage. I have several nieces and nephews that are the marrying age. Many of them actually do have significant others. The girls were saying that they were ready to get married, but they didn't want to have to ask their boyfriends to get on with it. One said she dreams of him getting down on one knee....the whole traditional proposal thing.

I am learning more and more that life is so not what we dream it to be. I am also learning, however, that marriage can be even more than we imagined or pictured. It's not easy, but it's possible. Richard has taught me this. He and I have had many discussions about the fact that I have given up some of my old habits in my marriage to him. I drink less, spend less time at my parents' house, spend less time at bars and in socializing in general. It hasn't been as bad as that sounds - he doesn't have me locked in the basement or anything. It has just been different. He is in a very public position in the community, he is older, Nick has gotten busier, and so my (our) lives have changed.

I feel that I have taken on many recreational activities that Richard likes to do. I have become an avid fisherwoman, an antique nut, and even a bit of a homebody - which I would have never thought possible. I went to events when Richard was principal, and I tried hard to be a good principal's wife. Richard has been more set in his ways. He has humored me and gone places I like, but in general, we do his stuff because it's fun and easier when he is having a good time. 

One thing I absolutely love to do, as you have seen in my writing, is spend time with my family in Iowa. It is no secret to my family, that this is not one of Richard's favorite activities. In fact, it is something we consistently argue about. It is not that he doesn't like my family, but he doesn't like to be away from home, without jobs to do, and he definitely doesn't like to chit chat. We spend hours just sitting around chatting, playing games, etc...not really his cup of tea. He does not mind at all if I go, he would just rather stay home.

To make a long story short, he did not really want to come to Iowa this past weekend, but he did, for me. The thing is, we had a really great time, and I did not ever feel like he did not want to be there. When he actually went out on a limb and went golfing, I just about died! : ) 

I guess my point in writing about this is to say that marriage is definitely not easy. I don't think a person should change who they are because they get married, but I think if a marriage is going to work, you definitely have to be willing to change - not because you have to or "else," but because you want to. Having Richard step up and open up this weekend, really showed me how much he loves me and wants to make our marriage the absolute best it can be. In return, I told him how I felt about what he did - I don't think people thank each other enough - and I will do my very best to return the gesture when the time comes for me to step up.

I am becoming me again - I can feel it. I feel a sense of calm that I have not felt in a long while. I have a renewed desire to get out there and achieve...I haven't had that for a long time. Tomorrow, I may feel down again, but even then I will feel comfortable in my skin and oh so grateful for my blessings! Isn't that what life is all about?