Friends Forever?

Well, I am home again. The days went much too quickly in Iowa. It seemed I'd just arrived when I was pulling out of the drive this morning. Leaving the farm always puts me into a bit of a "funk." I was anxious to get home to my boys, no doubt, but leaving the comfort I find there is always tough. Looking on the bright side, that fact also makes me savor my time there even more.

Before I left town this morning, I stopped by the St. Patrick's - the Catholic church where we attended many, many masses. The same church where I attended the "healing mass," I wrote about previously. Of course I couldn't help but think of that as I drove up to the church. However, I was there for a good reason, and I wasn't going to let anything bother me. 

I went by the church to see Marty and Cindy - the parents of my best childhood friend, Megan. Marty and Cindy will celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary tomorrow. Megan lives on the East coast, their other son lives several hours away, and while they are going on a family trip in a few weeks, they had no kids home to wish them happy anniversary in person. I thought it would be great to stop by and give them my best. And it was great - for both of us, I think.

Megan and I became best friends in the fifth grade. Of course we knew each other before that. Living in a small town, going to the same church, made us acquaintances, but it wasn't until we attended the same school in fifth grade, that we became best friends. We were best friends in the most traditional and "girly" sense...we had "code" names and signed all our notes to each other - BFFE. Best Friends Forever (I guess we didn't realize forever was one word! : ) ) We shared everything together - our Cabbage Patch Dolls, our stickers, our diaries...everything.

I guess most adults would have thought our pact to be "friends forever" was cute but unrealistic. After all, life happens, things get busy, kids get made, and suddenly friendships go by the wayside. Certainly Megan and I had our share of obstacles. First, of course, was my illness in fifth grade. I know this was hard for Megan. Of course. But in a quiet and normal way, she was just there when I needed her to be. Then in sixth grade came devastating news: my dad was getting transferred to Missouri. I remember leaving Hampton and wondering if I would ever have a friend like Megan again.

The thing I've most learned through my friendship with Megan, is that friendship, like most precious things in life, doesn't just happen. It takes work and nurturing and lots and lots of love. Megan and I have always been willing - more at some times than others - to put in all the "work" necessary to maintain our friendship. With regular letters and phone calls after I moved, we always kept in touch. Megan's mom brought her to Missouri for a visit, and I was back in Iowa visiting family, so I got to see her then as well.

And we've been on many adventures together. We visited each other at each other's colleges - YIKES! Stories to crazy to reveal here! : ) When Megan moved to New York to nanny, I visited her there and met the boyfriend that would later be her husband and the father of their three beautiful children. When I got married, Megan was there, standing up with me, and I with her when she got married. We've been through so much "together" while apart in geography. 

I won't lie, there have been times of distance...when life did get too busy, and we left months between our visits and calls. But you know what? The most wonderful thing about a forever friend is that the moment you talk to them, it's like no time has passed at all. I guess that has to do with knowing so much about each other and with having been a part of each other's lives more years than not.

Nurturing a friendship the way Megan and I have tried to do over the last 25 years, is much like putting money in a savings account. At certain times it is difficult and would be easier just to say, "oh well." But in the end, having that support on a rainy day makes all of the efforts worth it. Having a friend to call who knows you - I mean really knows you and where you came from - is invaluable. 

I do wish we lived closer, so we could laugh and share the daily grind. But, as we all know, you can't have everything in life! : ) I will never forget being at Megan's wedding in New York City. It was beautiful and elegant. But I remember two things more vividly than anything else. One, is talking with Megan in the bathroom. It sounds funny, but amid all the hustle and bustle, we snuck off to the bathroom and just gabbed. Second, I remember Megan's mom thanking me for being such a good friend to Megan. 

And even though it might have been easier and less time consuming just to leave town today without stopping by the church to see Marty and Cindy, I just had to stop. As a thank you to them. They raised someone who has stuck with me. No matter what. No matter when. 

I think what Megan and I have might be more rare than even we realize. However, I know, because I know her, that she is as thankful as I am for making it work. For sticking by our pact, written and signed so many years ago, to be BFFE!